


it's a terrible life

by cptniall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, M/M, Office Sex, Rimming, Top Harry, and drunk harry, gratuitous swearing for no reason, lots of emails, romantic letter writing, theres a bit of jealous louis in there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 09:33:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3405734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cptniall/pseuds/cptniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis wants to know who’s spying on his work emails, and the curly haired HR manager has been looking very suspicious lately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's a terrible life

**Author's Note:**

> this one's all for brigitte. thanks for encouraging me and inspiring me and being my favourite critic.
> 
> also something weird happened with the apostrophes/quotation marks. ill fix it when im not feeling so lazy

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Want to suck my dick under the desk?

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
I think I’ve got a tic tac addiction. 

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Did you read that email at all?!

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
Yeah. Dick sucking under the desk. Liam hid my tic tacs somewhere on his desk and won’t give them back :( 

Louis leans back in his desk chair, crosses his arms and lets out a loud huff. David Beckham in bobble head form stares back at him with a big, white grin from next to Louis’  computer, so Louis throws his pencil at it. The clock on the wall a few feet in front of him ticks continuously, and Louis watches it until the second hand passes the 12. 10:58am. Only two hours until lunch. 

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
You’re ignoring what I’m saying. I don’t like it.  
  
To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
Am I supposed to be responding in a particular way?  

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Well, any sort of reaction would be nice. It’s not exactly standard of me to ask you to suck me off under my desk in the middle of a work day. 

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
I dunno about that. You know I do have a search filter on my emails. I could probably get twenty results all with your name on it if I searched the word ‘dick’.  

Louis scoffs at his latest email, rolling his eyes dramatically even though Zayn can ’ t see him from where he sits at his desk. Zayn ’ s only view of Louis is of the top two inches of the right side of his head. It doesn ’ t exactly stop them from communicating throughout the work day, of course.

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Focus, Z. There is a purpose to these emails. 

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
And that purpose is?  
Liam just got up for a toilet break. I’m gonna look for my tic tacs. I hope he’s taking a shit.  

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Yes, good, you get in on it too! 

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
Alright, I give in. Tell me, Lou. What’s this plan you seem to have that involves invitations for sexual favours and talk of Liam’s toilet habits?

Louis takes a quick glance behind and either side of him, making sure there isn ’ t someone lurking over his shoulder. Not that it matters. If he ’ s right about this, people reading his emails over his shoulder while he types them is the last of his concerns. 

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
I think its smoke break time. Meet you downstairs in 2. 

Louis readies himself for the cold fall weather awaiting him rather hastily, not even bothering to check his coat pockets for his cigarettes before he puts it on and heads out towards the elevators. He' s not really doing this for the purpose of actually having a smoke, after all. He just wants to explain his plan to Zayn.

Zayn meets Louis out the front of their building a couple of minutes later, cigarette and lighter already in hand. 

“What’s going on, Tommo, you’re acting even weirder than usual today.” Zayn says by way of greeting as he puts the cigarette between his lips.  

“Did you read the memo they sent out this morning?” Louis asks. “The one about ensuring that ‘we as employees are adhering to the company’s strict professional policy in their communication with coworkers and clients alike’?” 

Zayn frowns as he lights his cigarette, taking a rather long time to take his first drag. 

“You know I don’t read the memos, Lou.” 

“I think it means they’ve started doing email surveillance.”  Louis’  tone is hushed, and it’s a little bit ridiculous really, because there’s barely anyone walking past and the people that are couldn’t give two shits about a salesman from a random software company thinking his email activity is being monitored.

“Do you really think they’d do that?” Zayn responds, still frowning. He shoves one of his hands into the pocket of his black coat, keeping the other free to hold his cigarette. “Don’t they have to like, actually proper tell us so we know they’re doing it and can’t sue them? Also what does this have to do with offering me oral?” 

“Ah, well, that’s all part of my plan.” Louis grins, rocking back on his heels. “I want to know if they really are monitoring emails, and if they are, I want to smoke out the little bastard that’s doing it. If somebody has access to all my info, I wanna know who it is.” 

Zayn nods slowly, understanding now. 

“ So you ’ re gonna talk dirty, make the person so uncomfortable that you ’ ll be able to tell who it is because they either won ’ t be able to look you in the eye or will dob you in themselves. ”  Zayn continues on from Louis ’  train of thought.  “ Nice. Could work. ”

“ It _will_ work. ”  Louis corrects, taking what ’ s left of Zayn ’ s cigarette from his hand and putting it to his lips.  “ Just use lots of words we know they ’ ll have flagged. Dick, porn, shit, fuck, blow job. All the fun stuff. The good news is, you won ’ t have to change the way you email Liam!"

Louis relishes in the way his friend chooses to ignore the latter of that statement.

“What if it gets you in trouble with HR? For like, sexual harassment? ”  Zayn asks.

“That's why you’re going to play along with it.”  Louis says in between drags.  “That way, if they are surveilling our emails and we get in trouble, we can just say we were joking around and we won’t do it again.”  Zayn looks incredulous.  “Z, we’ve worked here long enough that they won’t fire us over sexually explicit emails.”

“Whatever.” Zayn sighs. “Come on, put that out. We should probably limit any other reasons to get in trouble with the boss.” 

Louis complies, and together Zayn and Louis return back to the office and take their seats at their respective desks. Louis sneaks another glance at the clock in spite of himself. 11:08am. For fuck’s sake. 

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Fuck you look so sexy today. 

Louis waits for a few minutes, spinning in his desk chair and playing with the snow globe his eldest sister got him from her last vacation to America, but his email alert doesn’t chime. Looking over in the direction of the cluster of desks the accountants sit at, Louis manages to catch a glimpse of Zayn, whose fingers are flying swiftly over his keyboard, his eyes not leaving the computer screen in front of him. Louis sighs. Zayn looks too focused to be doing anything other than work, which means Louis’  fun is gone for a while. 

Louis spins back around to face his own desk, the tuft of blonde hair he sees over the top of his desk divider giving him the inspired idea to switch targets. 

To: nihoran@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
I’m so horny.

His email alert goes off not even 30 seconds later.

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: nihoran@huxley.com  
http://redtube.com  
http://youjizz.com  
http://pornhub.com  
http://mypornbible.com 

Louis sighs again, with even more frustration this time. Maybe inspired wasn’t the right word. He probably should’ve known that Niall would completely miss the point of his plan in favour of being a good, helpful friend. 

The rest of the afternoon drags on, and surprisingly, Louis actually gets some work done. But lunch is certainly the peak of Louis’  day, much like every other day.

He packed himself left over Chinese food for lunch, and he ’ s been looking forward to it ever since, well, last night, when he stopped himself from eating everything before his stomach exploded and he died (which he ’ s so glad he did, because he would hate to leave this wonderful life of software sales behind).

Harry Styles, Huxley's  HR manager, is eyeing Louis suspiciously over his ham and cheese sandwich. It ’ s nothing too far out of the normal, to be honest. Louis and Harry exchange weird glances a lot. 

Louis has always though Harry was well fit, because, to be frank, he is. He’s got long, thick hair that is always either tied in a bun or left out and flowing just past his shoulders, dimples that Louis can’t help but stare at, and tattoos that Louis has managed to catch a glimpse of on particularly hot days when Harry rolls up his sleeves. He somehow manages to look like an indie rock star, even in his business shirts and slacks. 

But Louis and Harry have only ever spoken twice in the 18 months since Harry started working at Huxley. The first time they spoke was Harry’s first day, when he accidentally peed on Louis’  shoes in the bathroom. He’d apologised and tried to dab it off with paper towel, and while Louis had been interested in him prior to that, the awkwardness of the encounter was enough to prevent any potential flirting or friendship forming. The second time they ’ d spoken was the Christmas party last year, where Louis had been so drunk that he’d tried to hit on Harry by recreating their first encounter. Harry was a little too sober to appreciate the daiquiri Louis spilled all over his apparently expensive shoes. 

So here they are, sitting in the break room on opposite ends on the table. Sending each other the occasional glance while they eat their respective lunches, and pretending they don ’ t find each other attractive.

Ed from IT walks into the break room, sitting himself nearest Harry ’ s end of the table. 

“Hey Harry. Louis.”  Ed greets as he begins to peel his orange.  “What’s news with you?” 

“The usual. Just resourcing humans.”  Harry replies in a deep, slow voice. Louis frowns a little, and not at the lameness of that joke.

Harry sits in his own separate office, a fair while away from Louis, and almost always has the door shut, so Louis barely hears him speak - just in staff meetings and when he passes by Louis’  desk. Louis doesn’t remember his voice being _that_ deep. 

“You know, you’d think that joke would get old,”  Ed says, clapping his free hand down on Harry’s shoulder.  “and you'd be right. I think eighth time was the charm.”

Harry lets out a childish giggle, the kind of laugh Louis never expected to hear from a man with a voice so deep. 

“ Lou. How goes sales? ”

“Excelling, as per usual.”  Louis smirks.  “Gonna buy myself a new car with my commission this year.”

Ed snorts and rolls his eyes, and Louis doesn ’ t miss the way Harry has to duck his head behind his sandwich to hide his laughter.

“Yeah, because you take your job so seriously.” Ed retorts before returning his attention to the orange he’s just started peeling. 

Louis stares at Ed, his messy, bright orange hair and his wrinkled shirt, for a long while. Probably too long, if the confused look Harry is now giving him is anything to go by. But Louis looks at Ed just long enough to think that maybe Ed is the one behind the surveillance. 

Ed could very well have read Louis’ explicit emails to Zayn and Niall from this morning. He’s easy going, good sense of humour - not the kind of person to red flag an email or report someone at the mention of oral sex, which would explain why no one has treated Louis any differently this morning or called him into their office for a ‘meeting’.  

If Ed is the one monitoring everyone, Louis doesn’t have much to worry about, he supposes.  

“Did you guys get the memo this morning?”  Ed says as he puts down a slice of orange. Louis straightens himself up immediately.  “‘bout corporate responsibility and that?”

Louis nods and finds himself looking between Ed and Harry for some sort of giveaway. 

“I’m betting on email surveillance.” Ed says with a sure nod. “I heard Niall and Zayn were sending some pretty _inappropriate_ stuff to each other last week. Maybe someone caught on. ” 

Louis slumps back in his chair and throws his fork on the table. Maybe it’s not Ed after all.  

“I doubt its email surveillance.”  Harry responds, wiping the crumbs from his sandwich off his shirt.  “It’s probably nothing. Nothing worth worrying about, anyway.”

Any other day, in any other circumstance, Louis wouldn ’ t hesitate in agreeing with Ed, then probably rambling on for several minutes about how fucked it is that the company can ’ t trust it s employees (even though they ’ re well within their rights to be monitoring Louis after what ’ s now known as the Niall and Louis Sexual Harassment Melee of 2013). But today, playing it cool is imperative. Because he may be a paranoid bastard today, but Harry is now looking him dead in the face, just fucking waiting for a reaction.

Needless to say, Louis doesn ’ t say a damn word for the rest of his lunch break.

 

~~

 

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Hi big boy. You look amazing from here… fancy a drink and a fuck later? 

Louis has his phone in his hand and his messages open before he ’ s even hit send on the email.

_I think I know who it is._  

He gets through a whole game of two-suit Spider Solitaire between the time he sends the text to Zayn and when he gets a response, both by text and by email.

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
What do you think? ;)

_who????  
_ _ps. don_ _’_ _t get too crazy with the emails, it_ _’_ _ll be suspicious_

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Can’t wait. I’ve been thinking about you all day ;) 

_Old mate Harold. He was acting really weird at lunch._

Zayn forgoes a reply on the email, but Louis expected that. His participation, while limited, is still more than he ’ d expected, if he ’ s honest. 

_Harry from HR? doesn_ _’_ _t he always act weird_

_Extra weird today. Kept staring at me across the room_  

Zayn’s initial reply of “ _……_ _._ ” is followed two minutes later by a second one. 

 _lou. this is hardly breaking news. he_ _’_ _s been staring at you since before he was even hired._  

Louis feels his cheeks burning. 

 _Shut the fuck up. He_ _’_ _s suspicious, okay, and wouldn_ _’_ _t it make sense for someone in HR to be behind this????_  

Louis spends the next ten minutes scratching at a spot on his desk and staring at the screen on his phone before giving up and standing in his seat to glare at Zayn.  

Zayn is, of course, chatting with Liam over at the water cooler. Which explains everything. If there’s one surefire way to distract Zayn from anything, it's  Liam Payne in a freshly-ironed business shirt and slacks that will never be big enough to hide the semi he gets every time Zayn touches his arm.

Louis scoffs. They sort of make him sick. Louis’  got friends that are _married_ that aren ’t this infatuated with each other.

_Fine then, dick._ Louis types out. _I'll_   _investigate solo._

He adds a gun emoji for good measure.

 

~~

 

Louis has been steeping his tea for exactly seven minutes.

For the last four of those seven minutes, he' s been staring at the workplace safety poster they have on the wall of the break room. Because when he stares at the workplace safety poster, no one standing more than three feet away can see the distinguishable difference between staring at the poster and staring at Harry. 

Harry ’ s office is right near the break room, and since his walls and door are made of glass, Louis can see directly into it from where he ’ s standing.

And for the last four minutes, Harry has done nothing but stare at his computer screen with a blank face.

Considering Louis sent Zayn an email right before he came to get his cup of tea that clearly stated that he wanted to lick his own come from Zayn ’ s asshole, he ’ d be expecting more of a reaction from Harry right now.

Louis is a stubborn person, but since there ’ s no one around right now, he ’ s okay with admitting that yeah, maybe Harry isn ’ t the one reading his emails. No one is so brazen that they can maintain such a stony expression in the face of pure written filth. And if there are, Louis hopes he meets them one day.

On a slightly different note, whoever it is that actually is reading their emails, if anyone, is surely in for a nasty surprise.

Louis almost wishes he felt a little guilty for that. Almost. 

“ Seriously, what the fuck are you staring at? ”

Louis actually physically jumps, spilling some of his tea onto his clean trousers. He totally fucking forgot Niall was in the room.

“ Haven ’ t you read that poster like, a thousand times? It ’ s not even interesting anyway. Just stretches and stuff." He stares at Louis from his place at the little table against the wall, expression screaming a mix of judgment and curiosity. 

“Zoned out. Got lost in a thought.”  Louis waves him off while reaching for a paper towel to clean his pants with. 

“Are you still on that whole email surveillance thing?”  Niall asks just before shovelling a forkful of pasta into his mouth. How he can eat such messy food while wearing a white shirt in the middle of a work day, Louis will never know. 

“I am.”  Louis answers, lightly dabbing at what's sure to be a stain on his pants.  “Got any intel for me?”

“I sit two feet from you and pay even less attention to what goes on in this office than you do.”  Niall says with a shrug.  “Anything I know, you already knew days ago.”

Louis narrows his eyes at Niall, who beams at him with a mouthful of food. Such an infant.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”  Louis says finally, shaking his head with a smile.

“Thanks!”  Niall says brightly. He’s just finished the last of his lunch, and to his credit, actually managed to escape stain-free. That’s more than Louis can say for himself.  “So who’s the number one suspect?”

“Well, it was Harry.”  He sighs.  “ But I’m starting to doubt it.”

“ Harry from HR? Curly hair, nautical tattoos, used to work at a bakery? ”

Louis can do nothing but stare at Niall like he has three heads.

“What? He's chatty.”  Niall shrugs again. He wipes at the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and cranes his neck to look at Harry.  “And it’s not him.”

“How do you know?”  Louis shoots him an incredulous look before he too returns his gaze to Harry. He’s signing documents now, the same stoic look on his face.

“ Dunno. Just do. ” 

“Well, as much as I trust you, Nialler, that means nothing to me.”  Louis rolls his eyes. Niall was right to say he doesn’t know what goes on around here. 

“Maybe you should actually, you know…”  Niall doesn’t finish his sentence, so Louis raises his eyebrows at him expectantly. It takes Niall a long time to notice.  “Talk to him?”

Louis rolls his eyes far too dramatically, scoffing for good measure. But then — “Wait, that’s actually not a bad idea.”

“This is the first time you’re considering it?”  Niall smirks, clearly biting back an incredulous laugh. How dare he mock Louis like this. He really is lucky he’s cute.

“I’ve never actually spoken to him. Just feels a bit weird to…  How would I even approach it?”  Louis scratches the back of his head, mussing up his hair a bit. He feels stupid. So incredibly stupid. But Niall’s always been good at withholding judgement.  “Do I just say  ‘hi’  and hope for the best?”

“’S what I did with him.”  Niall responds. Louis frowns at this. Niall’s always had an innate ability to befriend people though. He could make conversation with a brick wall - he just has that quality. That friendly, approachable kindness that Louis has always been seriously lacking.

Call it what you will, but Louis has never been what one would consider approachable.  

“Smile. Introduce yourself. Be polite.”  Niall coaches, apparently sensing Louis’  hesitance. 

“It really shouldn’t be this hard.”  Louis grumbles, finding himself walking over to Harry’s office before he can stop himself. 

Harry looks more than startled when Louis knocks on the door and lets himself in. Almost like it ’ s the first time it ’ s ever happened. Which is entirely ridiculous, because he works in HR. His job exclusively involves dealing with people. 

“Come in.”  He says, but Louis has already let himself in and is making himself at home in the chair on the other side of Harry’s desk. 

It ’ s nice in Harry ’ s office - not very big, but very tidy and smells almost homey. Well, as homey as you can make an office. It has the same dark grey carpet as the rest of the office, the same light coloured timber desk that Louis has, but it ’ s different. It ’ s personal. 

Harry has pictures of what Louis is assuming is his family all over his desk; a middle aged woman and man who must be his parents and a pretty young girl who looks far too much like Harry to be his girlfriend. There ’ s a large variety of brightly coloured sticky notes and neon stationary and, right next to his computer, a bobble head of Britney Spears. Louis tries not to think too much about that. 

“Hi.”  Louis says. Niall would be so proud.  “I’m Louis.”

“I know.”  Harry replies, swallowing hard.  “I’m Harry. You ruined my YSL boots at the Christmas party.”

Louis doesn't  even get a chance to open his mouth to apologise before Harry ’ s eyes are blown wide and he ’ s cutting Louis off.

“It’s okay, really.”  He says.  “I mean, they were old anyway. And you were drunk. It was Christmas.”  He smiles cheekily.  “Hard to stay mad at someone at Christmas time.”

“It was actually my birthday.”  Louis notes, leaning back in his seat. Maybe this will be easier than he thinks. It apparently doesn’t take much to get Harry talking.  “Turned 23 that day.”

“Oh!”  is all Harry says, his cheeks going slightly pink.  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

He says it like he genuinely feels guilty, like Louis expected him to sing for him and buy him a present and a cake and the fact that he didn ’ t makes him a terrible person. It ’ s outstanding. 

“How could you?”  Louis waves him off, as much as he’s enjoying torturing Harry. It’s just not as fun as it is with other people. He feels guilty watching the guy squirm.  “I don’t know your birthday.”

“It’s February 1st.”  Harry offers with a sheepish grin. 

“Harold, I hate to tell you this, but I most definitely will not remember that.”  Louis sighs. It’s the truth. Harry doesn’t seem offended though, giggling and running a hand through his long locks. They’re not tied up today, framing his face in a way that’s obnoxiously beautiful.

“So, Louis."Harry leans forward, clasping his hands together on top of his desk.  "What can I do for you?”

Louis blinks at him.

“I mean, you did come in for a reason…”  Harry says slowly, watching Louis’  face carefully for a reaction. Right. The emails.

"Does one really need a reason to chat to their HR manager?”  Louis smirks, toying with the base of Harry’s bobble head the way he does with his own when he’s trying to distract himself. 

“ When one has worked with one for almost two years and this is the first time one is talking to one without being drunk, it can raise suspicion. ”  Harry replies, voice low and incredibly sexy. He has a small smirk playing on his lips, mirroring the one Louis is sporting. 

“Well, maybe this is a sign then.”  Louis says brightly.  “A sign that we need to have chats more often.”

He has no idea why he isn ’ t getting straight to the point and asking if Harry knows anything about it, but it seems to make more sense to approach it this way. 

“Maybe we should.”  Harry replies. He’s still smirking.“ But if you stay in here too long, I think you’ll get us both in trouble. And I could lie and say it was work related, but that would involve paperwork. And I don’t think I’ve done anything to you to deserve that sort of horrible and cruel punishment."

“Indeed you haven’t."Louis sighs.  “Not yet, anyway.”

Oh fuck. They ’ re flirting with each other. 

Harry laughs, his smile lighting up his whole face and revealing a set of adorable dimples.

This is so not how this was supposed to go. He needs to get out of here now.

“I'll leave you to it.”  Louis pushes himself out of his seat hastily, nearly tripping over himself trying to get to the door. 

Once he finds his way back to his desk, Louis manages to both knock over his pen holder and spill the cold remnants of this morning’s coffee all over his keyboard. He ’ s a mess of cursing and frustration when he looks up to scold Liam for giggling, but finds himself looking back at Harry. 

Harry, who is standing at the doorway of his office and grinning at Louis. Louis swallows hard, face burning with embarrassment, when Harry fucking waves with the stupidest goddamn smirk and Louis would walk over there and slap him in the balls if he wasn ’ t completely terrified of his own clumsiness right now. 

This may complicate things a bit.

 

~~

 

Saying that Liam is acting weird is not saying much. Liam is weird more often than not. In fact, if he had a default setting, it would be somewhere between  “ baby Labrador being posed for a family portrait ”  and  “ beefcake footballer who enjoys being tackled a little too much ” . 

But today, Liam is acting incredibly weird, even for him. He ’ s been typing furiously at his desk all day, and when Louis tried to get his attention to offer him a bite of his muffin this morning (which he _never_ does), Liam looked at him with a frantic expression, made a noise that sounded a lot like a cat when you step on it ’ s tail, and turned his attention back to his screen.

Zayn ’ s not handling it very well. 

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
It ’ s hard being so far from you today …  Bit boring over here. I ’ m so glad I can still talk to you ;)

Louis tries not to snort out loud as he reads the email (which is their twentieth for the day - they ’ re getting pretty good at this). It ’ s basically Zayn ’ s way of screaming  “ Liam won ’ t talk to me and I don ’ t know why and I ’ m about to start crying please distract me ” . Louis, as always, is happy to oblige in the distraction.

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Liam looks pretty distracted. Do you think he ’ d notice if I came over and straddled you?

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
Probably not ;)

Louis is more than aware that the wink face was added in at the very last minute in place of a sad face. 

_Why don't you just tell him how you feel?_ Louis sends by text, craning his neck to try and see Zayn ’ s face. That ’ s the thing about Zayn - he ’ s so emotional that he always gives himself away. But as well as Louis knows Zayn, not even he can tell how he ’ s reacting by the top of his head.

_It_ _’_ _s not that simple. we still don_ _’_ _t even know if he_ _’_ _s even into guys_ _…_ _._

Louis actually does snort out loud that time. He ’ s been telling Zayn that Liam is into him ever since Zayn started here and they were all over each other after his first hour on the job. But in all fairness, Zayn ’ s hesitance is understandable - it ’ s been a couple of years now, and Liam has not once in that entire time mentioned a romantic or sexual interest in anyone - male or female. It ’ s been making Zayn ’ s life hell. 

_Even if he_ _’_ _s not into guys, he_ _’_ _s into you. Zayn Javadd Malik could make even the straightest man there is give him a rim job._

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
You know, I like you a little bit :) <3

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
You ’ re welcome xx

Louis leans back in his chair and sighs. Thank god it ’ s almost time to knock off for the day. It ’ s not like Louis doesn ’ t actually work - despite how it may appear. Louis is really good at sales, when he commits. He ’ s the leading salesman in his office, and has been all year.

Not like it ’ s hard to earn that title at Huxley. His competition includes Niall, who is even lazier and less concerned with his job than Louis; a women named Leslie, who ’ s had her job for 20 years and has the worst social skills Louis has ever encountered; Paul, who is terrible at sales and only got employed because he ’ s the boss ’  cousin, and two new guys that Louis hasn ’ t bothered to learn the names of yet. They ’ ll probably quit or get fired or just stop turning up one day. These things happen.

Honestly, it ’ s always been beyond Louis why Zayn isn ’ t a salesman instead of Niall or Leslie. He ’ s so charismatic that even over the phone people wouldn ’ t be able to say no to him. 

But two years ago, when Zayn came in for his job interview, the HR manager of the time had said  “ we have two openings - one in sales, one in accounting. Which is the job for you? ”  Zayn had taken one look at the clump of desks that makes up accounting, seen Liam ’ s face smiling back at him and found himself replying  “ I ’ ve always dreamed of being an accountant ”  before he even knew what he was saying. 

“ HR should really step up their game. ”  Louis mumbles to no-one in particular.

“ Don ’ t be bitter just because he hasn ’ t asked you out yet. ”  Niall calls far too loudly from the other side of their shared dividing wall. 

“ Shhh, I wasn ’ t even talking to you. ”  Louis scolds, feeling his cheeks go pink. Harry may spend most of his time in his office with the door shut, but he does usually make trips to the bathroom via the sales desks approximately three times a day.

Not like Louis has been counting or anything. 

“ Have you spoken to Liam today? ”  Louis says to Niall after a moment of contemplation. He lifts himself up in his seat to raise his eyebrows at Niall over the divider. Niall barely looks up from his computer screen long enough to shrug at Louis. 

“ Yeah. Little bit. ”

“ And? How did he seem? He won ’ t say a word to me or Zayn. I ’ ve never seen him more focused on his work. ”

Niall keeps his eyes trained on his screen, his expression barely changing.

“ He ’ s fine. ”  He replies. Louis knows better than to accept that as the truth, however, so he continues to stare at Niall until the blonde finally looks at him.  “ He ’ s —  he ’ s okay, really, he ’ s just going through something. ”

Louis huffs and drops back down in his chair, defeated. Niall ’ s usually an open book, easy to get any information out of, but this clearly isn ’ t his secret to tell. 

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: nihoran@huxley.com  
Let it go, Tommo! Nothing to stress about. Worry about your own love affair haha!

Louis wants to reach back over the divider and smack Niall across the head. Though he understands that Niall was trying to be subtle by sending an email, that ’ s only made it worse. Now whoever is monitoring their emails knows that Louis has a crush on someone. And honestly, it would only take a few minutes of watching Louis to figure out who he is, as much as he likes to think he ’ s playing it cool. 

To: nihoran@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
I hope they do a search of that untitled folder you have on your desktop. 

Judging from the way Niall laughs loudly and genuinely at that, he picked up on the fact that Louis is joking. He would never dob Niall in for his expansive porn collection (even if it is totally weird that Niall has porn on his work computer). He ’ s not a monster. 

Louis spends another three minutes (far slower than he actually needs to) looking over his schedule for the week and colour co-ordinating his tasks, and then finally, _finally_ , it ’ s 5:00. Sweet relief.

Louis can be packed up and ready to walk to his car in forty-five seconds flat. He knows this because one time he was desperate to leave work right on 5:00 so he could get to a concert on the other side of town in time to see the opening act. But today, he decides he might take his time.

He takes his mug to the kitchen and washes it, packs up all his pens, shuts down his computer, double checks he ’ s got everything he needs in his bag, watches mostly of his colleagues leave, straightens out his shirt, and by the time he ’ s finished, Harry is shutting the door of his office behind him, laptop bag over his shoulder.

“ Oh, hey Harry. ”  Louis says, the picture of casual.  “ I didn ’ t realise you were still here. ”

Somewhere from the other side of the office, Niall starts giggling hysterically.

“ Yeah ”  is all Harry says in response. He doesn ’ t stop walking, only slows down, glancing quickly around the office.

“ Any big plans for this wonderful Tuesday evening? ”  Louis asks, waiting still for Harry to look at him, and trying not to panic when he doesn ’ t. 

Harry shakes his head, looking Louis in the eye for only a moment before adjusting the strap of his laptop bag and making for the exit.

Everyone ’ s acting really fucking weird today. Louis doesn ’ t like it. 

“ See you tomorrow. ”  Louis says, feet firmly stuck to the ground beneath him as Harry walks out the door, shutting it quietly behind him.

 _Well._ Louis thinks. _That could_ _’_ _ve gone better_.

 

~~

 

Casual Friday has never been that exciting a concept to Louis. It ’ s just another day at work, made no more bearable by the fact that he gets to wear a sweater and his black skinny jeans instead of his usual slacks and shirt. But today is different. Today, Louis is seriously five minutes away from Googling whoever invented Casual Friday and sending them a fruit basket. And the reason for that is currently standing five feet away from him and reaching for something near the top of the supply shelf.

It ’ s actually not even fair. Louis has always thought he looked quite sexy in skinny jeans, but he doesn ’ t even come close to comparing to how Harry looks right now. They ’ ve had countless casual Friday ’ s since Harry started, but today is the first time Louis has appreciated the true beauty of it. 

Harry ’ s thighs are a work of art, is the thing. Truly beautiful. Louis feels like he should be paying some sort of fee to look at him. 

Thick, toned thighs lead to slim calves, the longest legs Louis has ever seen on a boy Harry ’ s size. You ’ d think that would make him out of proportion, but no, just absolutely incredible. 

Basically, Louis has never been happier to be at work. 

_All good things must come to an end_ , Louis thinks to himself with a deep sigh as Harry retrieves the box of paper clips he was apparently searching for and returns to his office. 

Louis sits there for a few minutes, honestly just contemplating his existence and what it all means, until eventually deciding _fuck it_.

To: hastyles@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Morning sunshine. I think your fashion choices may need to be reconsidered before next Friday.

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: hastyles@huxley.com  
Why???? Did someone say something? :( 

To: hastyles@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
No, but I think you ’ ve made Leslie go into heat.

To: hastyles@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
I can smell it on her, Harry. It ’ s distracting.

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: hastyles@huxley.com  
You ’ re an idiot. Stop smelling Leslie.

To: hastyles@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
It ’ s hard, I love her natural musk.   
What ’ s on the schedule for our fearless HR manager today?

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: hastyles@huxley.com  
Got a meeting with Simon at 12. Boring HR stuff I ’ m sure you wouldn ’ t be interested in. 

Louis starts typing out  “ I wouldn ’ t be so sure, try me ”  but stops himself short. Harry ’ s right - he shouldn ’ t be interested. So he ’ s not going to be.

To: hastyles@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
You ’ re quite intuitive aren ’ t you. Thanks for sparing me the details

Louis waits another few minutes, staring at his email screen and briefly taking a break to play Tetris on his phone, but Harry doesn ’ t reply. 

It ’ s a good thing, Louis thinks. He needs to stop being so distracted by Harry Styles. 

“ Hey! ”  Zayn says, clapping a hand down on Louis ’  shoulder and scaring the absolute shit out of him.

“ Fuck! ”  Louis shouts, eliciting an eyebrow raise from Zayn.  “ Don ’ t do that. ”

Zayn holds up his hands defensively, eyes narrowing at how on edge Louis is.

“ Sorry, geez. ”  Zayn turns and sits himself on the edge of Louis ’  desk.  “ I haven ’ t received any deeply erotic and concerning emails from you this morning; I was starting to get worried. ”

“ Been distracted. ”  Louis says dismissively, waving his hand. Zayn stifles a laugh.

“ I don ’ t doubt that. ”  He smirks, shaking his head, and Louis wants to slap him. So he does. Zayn barely reacts.  “ Anyway, I didn't bring any lunch today so I was thinking we should walk to Subway on our break and get something. ”

Louis considers this for a moment, almost says yes, but he doesn't. Inspiration has struck. 

“ Actually, I ’ m going on my break at 12 today. ”  He replies. 

Zayn frowns.

“ You always have your lunch break with me at 1. ”

It ’ s true. It only took two weeks of Zayn working here for Louis to take him under his wing, and it all started with coinciding lunch breaks. 

“ Well, I feel like having lunch earlier today, is that such a crime? ”  Louis snaps rather defensively. Instead of recoiling, though, Zayn just raises an eyebrow at him, the tiniest smirk playing on his lips. Like he knows something Louis doesn ’ t. Except that never happens because Louis knows everything. 

“ Alright then. ”

He walks away after that, retreating to the accounting desks and leaving Louis to head to the break room by himself.

Zayn definitely doesn ’ t need to know that the reason Louis ’  having his break now is solely because of Harry. It ’ s not even a big deal anyway, not worth knowing. Louis just doesn't want to have his lunch break at the same time as Harry. Honestly, it ’ s getting a little tiresome staring at him all the time. Louis needs a break.  
  
It ’ s 28C outside, warm and sunny, and Louis brought chicken and vegetable soup for lunch. He regrets this decision, he decides as he pushes chunks of vegetable around his bowl. He picks up a spoonful and eats it lazily, sighing as he stares around the empty break room. He regrets much about this situation.

Avoiding Harry is starting to seem not so worth it, Louis thinks. The reason for it had been well-thought through, but now he has a full hour with nothing to do but stare at the walls surrounding him and think about Harry. An unconsidered side effect of lunch time isolation. 

And okay, maybe Louis doesn ’ t actually want to be avoiding Harry right now. He wants to be sitting in his lap and being spoon-fed his soup in between kisses. But that ’ s the problem, isn ’ t it? Louis wants to be around Harry all the time, and that needs to stop, because Louis isn ’ t supposed to like people. Lust is fine. Ambivalence is even better. Total, all-consuming, self-loathing crushing is definitely not okay. 

Besides, Harry is kind-of sort-of his _boss_. Getting involved with people at work always ends badly - unless you ’ re Liam and Zayn and you ’ re definitely soulmates.

So if conveniently timing his lunch breaks every day so Louis avoids being alone in the same room as Harry is what it takes to keep his feelings at bay, then so be it. The punishment fits the crime, Louis thinks.  

After a few more mouthfuls of soup, Louis remembers something so suddenly it makes him choke a little. This whole Harry situation has been distracting him from the bigger issue. Email surveillance.

Ripping off a corner of the company mission statement poster next to him, Louis pulls out a pen and begins making a list. _Ed_ is the first name on the list, but Louis considers it for a long moment before adding a question mark next to it. Ed works in IT and therefore is a very likely suspect, but Louis has pretty much already dismissed him as being the culprit. _Nick, Alexa_ and _Aiden_ get added to the list next, solely because they also work in IT. Louis scribbles _Paul_ underneath them, because to be totally honest, Louis actually has no idea what Paul ’ s job is, and that makes him suspicious.

Louis sighs, reading over the names a few times, trying to recall if anything strange had happened with any of them in the last few weeks. But it hasn ’ t. The fact that Louis and Zayn have yet to be called into a meeting by Simon to talk about their emails is weird enough - considering how many times the words  ‘ cock ’  and  ‘ fingering ’  have been used, they should have been suspended by now, at the very least. 

Louis taps his pen on the table, staring at the letters and names until they all blur together. His hand moves independently from his brain, and he finds himself adding another name to the list.

_Harry_ sits on the list, traced over twice in black ink, betraying Louis. He doesn ’ t want it to be Harry, doesn ’ t want to believe that someone so pure and adorable and wonderful could be behind something so shitty. But here he is, staring at the name and knowing very well that it belongs there.

“ No. ”  Louis decides after another minute, putting a line through Harry ’ s name and then screwing the whole thing up and shoving it in his pocket.  “ Harry ’ s just weird. Not guilty. ”

Louis spend the rest of his hour distracting himself by reading Buzzfeed articles on his phone, not allowing himself to think about Harry or the email surveillance. 

The rest of the day drags on more than most. Believe it or not, having a lunch break so early in the day makes the rest of it seem so much longer. Louis hadn ’ t properly considered that. 

Sometime after cold calls and making two sales to some mid-sized firms, 5:00 rolls around. 

“ I never get tired of this. ”  Louis sighs happily as he packs up his things for the day. 

“ What, leaving? ”  Niall chortles, in the middle of shutting down his computer.

“ Yep! ”  Louis chirps.  “ You coming around to Zayn ’ s tonight? ”

Niall shakes his head as he stands from his desk, running a hand through soft-looking blonde hair.

“ Nope. Goin ’  round to my brother ’ s to babysit Theo. ”

Louis nods, understanding. Theo is pretty much the only thing that ever stops Niall from hanging out with him and Zayn. He ’ s also the cutest baby in the world, so Louis gets it.

“ Alright, let’s go before Harry comes out of his office and Louis drowns in a puddle of his own drool. ”  Zayn smirks, patting Louis on the shoulder condescendingly. Louis swats him away, but throws an arm around his shoulder and pulls him close.

“ You ’ d know, Z. It ’ s almost happened to you so many times with —“

“ Shut up if you know what ’ s good for you. ”  Zayn warns, shooting daggers at Louis. Niall cackles, clearly finding this whole situation hysterical, which, well, is totally common.

Liam strides past them suddenly, only managing a mumbled  “ see you Monday ”  to the boys before he ’ s out the door. By the time Louis, Zayn and Niall get to the elevator, Liam ’ s gone. He must have taken the stairs, Louis notes as he scans his surroundings.

“ He ’ s so weird. ”  Louis says. Niall snorts in agreement, but Zayn just nods half-heartedly. 

“ He ’ s not been himself lately. ” 

“ He ’ s got his reasons, lads. ”  Niall assures them. He pauses before continuing.  “ Actually, I ’ m gonna try catch him. Text me later! ”

And with a flash of blonde, Niall ’ s gone, darting towards the stairwell and slamming the heavy door behind him.

“ So, now that the kids are gone, ”  Zayn starts as they step into the elevator.  “ What do you really think is going on with Liam? ”

“ Honestly, Malik, I have no idea. ”  Louis answers honestly. He wishes he did know what was causing Liam ’ s admittedly bizarre behaviour, because it really bothers him that Niall knows something he doesn ’ t.  “ Maybe he ’ s behind the email surveillance. ”

Zayn half sighs, half laughs as the elevator begins its descent. 

“ Not likely. Why would an accountant be monitoring emails? ”

“ Good point. ”  Louis notes. The stand in silence for a few more moments until the elevator reaches the basement with a  ‘ ding ’ . 

“ Are you really concerned? ”  Louis asks once they ’ ve stepped off the elevator, into the concrete expanse that is their parking garage.

“ Honestly? Yes. ”  Zayn admits.  “ I know it ’ s not just me he ’ s being weird around, but, I dunno. I can ’ t help but wonder. ”

“ Wonder what? ”

“ If it ’ s something I said or did. ”  Zayn sighs.  “ Like, I ’ ve been trying it on with him for ages. But sort of subtly. And every now and then I take it too far or whatever, because I just can ’ t help it. Maybe I freaked him out. ”

“ You ’ re in pretty deep, aren ’ t you? ”  Louis is sure to keep his voice down. He wouldn ’ t put it past Liam to be hiding behind cars and spying on them, what with how weird he ’ s been lately. 

“ I really like him, Lou. ”  Zayn responds, and Louis knows it to be true. Zayn wears his heart on his sleeve, and his feelings for Liam are about as subtle as a gunshot. 

Both boys whip their heads around at the sound of the elevator dinging again, and when the doors open, Harry and Ed step off. 

Ed waves to the boys, saying something inaudible to Harry as he quickly veers towards his dingy, beat-up car in the corner. Harry, on the other hand, keeps his head down as he walks towards Louis and Zayn. Louis scans the parking lot quickly, locating Harry ’ s black Range Rover a few spots away from him. 

“ Night, Harry. ”  Zayn calls as Harry walks past them, head still down. He doesn ’ t react to Zayn, nor Louis when he adds  “ Have a good weekend! ” Just keeps walking until he gets to his car, then he climbs in the drivers seat and shuts the door behind him.

“ That was rude. ”  Zayn snaps, face screwed up as he stares after Harry, long after the other boy has gotten in his car and driven away.

“ Nah, he ’ s just weird like that. ”  Louis waves him off. He claps a hand down on Zayn ’ s shoulder, pushing him towards his car.  “ Don ’ t worry about him. Worry about us getting back to your place and drinking a substantial amount of beer tonight. ”

They do exactly that, but Louis still thinks about Harry anyway. He ’ s starting to accept it as a permanent condition. 

 

~~

 

“ Liam. ”  Louis ’  voice demands attention. He ’ s not getting it. 

“ Louis. ”  Liam replies, voice even. He still doesn ’ t break his gaze from his computer screen.

“ Liam. ”  Louis repeats. Liam doesn ’ t answer this time.  “ Are you listening? ”

“ No. ”  Liam replies flatly. Louis sighs. 

“ Okay, well maybe you should be. ”  Louis insists, now poking at Liam ’ s mouse hand. 

“ Maybe you should talk to Zayn about this. ”  Liam sighs, clicking between internet tabs. Louis isn ’ t even entirely convinced he ’ s working so much as he is trying to get rid of Louis at this point.

“ I would, but Zayn ’ s not here right now. ”  Louis notes, gesturing towards Zayn ’ s empty desk.  “ He ’ s at a doctor’s appointment. And I know that you knew that, so playing it cool doesn ’ t work on me. ”

Liam sighs again, pushing himself away from his desk and looking Louis in the eye. _Finally_.

“ Okay, tell me again what this big dilemma is? ” 

Louis grins, adjusting himself on Liam ’ s desk until he ’ s completely comfortable.

“ Email surveillance. I really want to figure out who ’ s doing it. ”  Louis explains.  “ I thought my strategy was solid, but whoever it is, they ’ re being extremely subtle. Playing hard to get. ”

Liam laughs. Louis isn ’ t sure if he ’ s laughing at him or with him, but since Louis isn ’ t laughing, he thinks it may be the former. 

“ Playing hard to get, sounds like this is less of an email surveillance thing and more of a Harry Styles thing. ”  Liam muses, earning a slap across the head from Louis. He pouts, rubbing his head.  “ You know, one of these days you ’ re gonna get in trouble for physically abusing your colleagues. ”

“ Yeah, well, today is not that day. ”  Louis sniffs. 

“ No one is reading our emails, Louis. ”  Liam rolls his eyes, returning his attention to his work. How dare he, when there ’ s more pressing matters at hand.

“ That ’ s exactly what someone who was reading our emails would say. ”  Louis says pointedly. He knows it ’ s not Liam, obviously, but that doesn ’ t make riling him up any less fun. 

“ Maybe you should get back to work. ”  Liam says.  “ You know, some of us have important matters that need to be attended to. ”

“ What ’ s so important that it ’ s worth blowing me off? ”

Liam ’ s hands freeze, hovering over his keyboard, and Louis doesn ’ t miss the way his cheeks flush pink.

“ Come on, Liam, you can tell me anything. ”  Louis teases, getting in close to poke Liam in the ribs. Liam slaps him away, clearly flustered and still burning pink.

“ It ’ s special — private —  fuck, just, get back to work, okay? ”  Liam snaps, shoving Louis off his desk. Louis ’  legs almost give way underneath him, but he manages to straighten himself up. Elegantly and gracefully, like the beautiful ballerina he is. 

“ Fine, I see how it is. ”  Louis sticks his tongue out at Liam, but he doesn ’ t seem to notice.

Okay, that was totally suspicious. Whatever Liam ’ s up to, Louis wants to find out, ASAP. 

But first, he needs to deal with his feelings for Harry, and find out what ’ s going on with this email surveillance thing. Louis sighs. So much to do, so little time.

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Liam is a fucking freak. I miss you. You better reply to this the second you get back and see it x

 

_~~_

 

It becomes pretty fucking clear what ’ s been going on the next afternoon at around 5:12pm.

It ’ s all sort of a blur for Louis, but it starts with himself, Zayn and Niall entering the parking garage together like they usually do after work, intensifies when Zayn finds an envelope neatly tucked under his wipers, escalates further when Zayn gets a mere two lines in to reading it before the words  “ in love ”  are used, and reaches it ’ s peak when he sees that it ’ s signed with  “ Sincerely yours, Liam ” . 

After that, it ’ s mostly just pure shock, flailing, shaky hands running through hair and Zayn repeating  “ I need to find Liam ”  over and over again like a satanic chant. It ’ s like he ’ s trying to summon Liam, and it seems to take him a moment to realise it ’ s not going to work. 

Then he literally pushes Louis over to get to the elevator (seriously, Louis has scrapes on his arm now), waits about 1.4 seconds for it before deciding to run up the stairs instead. 

“ He loves me! ”  Louis hears him calling. It echoes down the stairwell and through the whole parking lot.  “ I love him too, Louis! ”

“ Wow ”  is all Louis can say once the noise of Zayn ’ s celebration has completely faded. He turns to look at Niall, who ’ s grinning from ear to ear.  “ You knew, didn ’ t you? ”

Niall shrugs, still beaming.  “ I may have figured it out when Liam asked me how to spell  ‘ infatuated ’ . ”

Louis shakes his head, then bursts into laughter, unable to stop himself.  “ Fucking took them long enough, hey. ”

“ You ’ re telling me. ”  Niall sighs. 

“ Who puts a letter on someone ’ s car anyway? ”  Louis wonders out loud, picking up the torn-open envelope from the ground. 

“ A very brave person. ”  Niall replies.

“ Stupid. ”  Louis corrects with a snort. 

“ No, not stupid. ”  Niall scolds.  “ Don ’ t be so cynical, Tommo. Sometimes making a bold gesture actually pays off. ”

Louis glances down at the envelope. Zayn had taken the actual letter upstairs with him, clutched so tightly in his hand, like he ’ d been afraid that if he didn ’ t hold on tight enough it wouldn ’ t be real. It ’ s really lovely to see all this pay off for Zayn; all the months of pining and falling harder for Liam than he ever has for anyone else, finally working out. It had been all worth it, obviously. 

Louis hasn ’ t really seen that kind of all-consuming, panic-inducing infatuation pay off. Like, ever.  

“ Niall, you ’ ve been single since you were 15. ”  Louis realises. 

“ Yes, Louis. ”  Niall nods proudly, clapping a hand down on Louis ’  shoulder.  “ Yes I have. ”

“ Remind me to never actually take advice from you. ”  Louis mumbles, in direct contrast with his own thoughts. Although, in all fairness, it ’ s not really Niall that Louis is drawing inspiration from. 

The elevator dings suddenly, distracting Louis from his thoughts and pulling him back to reality - or, more precisely, Harry, who is now walking towards him, laptop bag slung over his shoulder and sunny disposition radiating through the dingy parking lot. He ’ s wearing a crisp, white button down, sleeves rolled up enough for Louis to make out the shapes and designs of the tattoos on his forearms. 

Louis feels his breath hitch and his stomach leap when he realises Harry has an anchor on his wrist - right where Louis has a rope tattooed on his own arm.

“ Did ’ ya see the love birds? ”  Niall grins widely, which is matched by Harry as he nods enthusiastically, curls bouncing on his shoulders.  “ What happened? ”

“ Zayn like, burst into the room, there was only about three or four people left, like, I think me and Liam and Leslie and Simon, and he was just like staring at Liam? And Liam was standing at his desk just staring back at him. And I had no idea what was going on, um, so then Zayn just walked over there and like, kissed him. ”  He grins and shakes his head fondly.  “ It was like something out of a movie. ”

Louis can ’ t even be mad at the fact that it takes Harry seven years to tell a story and never manages to do it justice, because he ’ s just so fucking happy for Zayn. And Liam. And himself, honestly, because finally all this angst is over and he can just go back to living in a state of contented apathy. 

But maybe that isn ’ t enough anymore. 

Maybe —

“ Hey Niall, isn ’ t your dad waiting for you at your place? ”  Louis quirks his eyebrow in a very specific kind of way, and Niall knows better than to say anything other than a polite goodbye to both Louis and Harry before heading towards his car. Now it ’ s just Louis, Harry, and the silence. 

“ So —“  Harry starts, but Louis cuts him off.

“ Styles, let me get something straight. ”  Louis takes a step closer to Harry, hands in pockets, now close enough to reach out and touch him if he ’ d like (which he would).  “ Since today seems to be  ‘ Tell People How You Feel Day ’ , I ’ m going to be honest. I don ’ t want you to be under any sort of illusion here. ”  Harry furrows his eyebrows, seemingly confused as to what exactly it is Louis is trying to say.  “ I like you. I think you ’ re hot, really quite sexy, in fact, and more than that, even though I don ’ t know you that well, you ’ re still one of the best people I know. Oh, and when I say I like you, I mean I ’ d like to shag you and take you on dates and that, but obviously only after I get to know you better. ”

Harry ’ s jaw slackens, his face stunned as he blinks at Louis. 

“ So let ’ s work on that, yeah? ”  Louis finishes, pulling a hand from his pocket to pat Harry on the shoulder affectionately. He smirks in reaction to Harry ’ s still-shocked expression. It doesn ’ t seem like Harry ’ s going to reply any time soon.  “ See you tomorrow, Harold. ”

Well, if everything falls apart and it ends horribly and he gets his heart shattered, at least he can say he put himself out there. 

After all, what ’ s life without a little risk?

 

~~

 

‘ Risk ’  may have been the wrong word for it. 

It ’ s been six days since Louis ’  semi-heartfelt declaration of infatuation to Harry, and, well, to say things haven ’ t progressed would actually be an understatement. It ’ s literally as though Louis never said anything. 

Louis has even gone back to having his lunch break at his usual time in an effort to manipulate run-ins with Harry. It ’ s worked, for the most part, but getting Harry to give him anything, any sort of indication as to how he feels in return, has been completely ineffective. So, instead of secretly snogging Harry in a small, enclosed space right now, Louis is sitting at the table in the break room with Zayn and arguing about superheroes. 

Not that that ’ s anything to complain about. There ’ s just things Louis would rather be doing (or, _people_ he would rather be doing).

“ So you ’ re trying to tell me that Spiderman could actually physically best Green Lantern? ”  Zayn looks like he ’ s in pain.  “ Louis, I ’ m not trying to say Spiderman is useless, but outside of climbing walls and grabbing things from a distance with that web stuff, what can he do? He ’ s just _agile_ , he ’ s not invincible. ” 

“ I can ’ t believe we ’ re having this conversation. ”  Louis mutters, swallowing the last bite of his sandwich.

“ _I_ can ’ t believe we ’ re having this conversation! ”  Zayn counters, looking exasperated. 

“ Green Lantern isn ’ t one of a kind. There ’ s so many Green Lanterns, it makes it way less cool. Also Hal Jordan only has powers because of that ring, he himself is not a superhero. The ring is doing all the work. ”  Louis ’  enjoyment is mostly coming from the fact that the more he talks, the more Zayn looks like he wants to tear his own hair out.

“ And the spider did all the work for Peter Parker! ” 

“ Yeah, but Peter Parker can ’ t just _take off_ his powers. ”

“ You ’ re totally missing the point. ”  Zayn huffs. 

“ Yeah, well, you ’ re an idiot. ”  Louis mutters, just loud enough for Zayn to hear. 

The door to the break room swings open, silencing both Zayn and Louis when they realise who it is.

“ Hi, Harry. ”  Zayn greets him brightly. Louis doesn ’ t miss the side-eyed look he gives Louis at the same time. 

“ Oh, hi …”  His eyes flick from Louis to Zayn and back to Louis again before landing on the floor.  “ Sorry, I didn ’ t realise you guys were in here. ”

Zayn and Louis exchange befuddled expressions, having their own silent exchange. Zayn shrugs at Louis, then looks back at Harry.

“ We ’ re just talking superheroes. ”  He explains. 

“ Yeah, Green Lantern versus Spiderman. ”  Louis kicks the chair across from him under the table, pushing it out a bit.  “ Sit down, we need your input. But only if you agree with me. ”

“ Yeah, for your own personal safety, I ’ d advise agreeing with Louis. ”  Zayn says jokingly. Harry remains unaffected.

“ No, really, its fine, I ’ ve got stuff to do anyway. ”  Harry replies, scuffing his shoes on the floor and reaching behind himself blindly for the door handle. 

“ On your lunch break? ”  Louis quirks an eyebrow at him. Harry stares back at him uneasily, wordlessly, and Louis feels his throat dry. It ’ s been a while since he ’ s been rejected - he ’ d forgotten what it felt like. The reminder is not welcome nor pleasant. 

“ I ’ ll catch you later. ”  Harry says over his shoulder as he leaves, as quickly as humanly possible.  

A silence hangs in the air for a moment after he leaves, Zayn as confused as Louis is embarrassed.

“ What is with that guy? ”  Zayn mumbles, still staring at the door Harry has just left from.  “ I think he hates me. ”

“ He doesn ’ t hate you, Zayn. ”  Louis sighs.  “ I think he ’ s just …  put off. ”

“ Put off? ”  Zayn repeats, looking back at Louis.  “ Like, from you? ”

“ I was pretty fucking forward. ”  Louis explains, shaking his head.  “ He ’ s probably freaked out. Doesn ’ t feel the same and doesn ’ t know how to act around me now. ”

It ’ s nothing new for Louis. God, how pitiful he ’ s become. 

“ I dunno, he was acting pretty weird before you told him how you felt. ”  Zayn reasons, but Louis is barely listening.

“ Let ’ s talk about something else. ”  He clears his throat, stretching out in his chair a bit. He wishes he could avoid the whole situation entirely, if he ’ s honest, but since he works with Harry that makes it pretty fucking impossible. And that is why Louis hadn ’ t wanted to tell Harry how he feels. Stupid Liam and his noble romanticism, setting unrealistic standards for him.  “ Any leads on the email surveillance thing? ”

Zayn shakes his head. Honestly, it ’ s been the last thing on either of their minds lately, with everything that ’ s been happening in their love lives (or not happening, in Louis ’  case).

“ Why don ’ t you just ask Harry? ”  Zayn asks, just barely glancing at Louis through his long eyelashes.  “ He works in HR. If it ’ s not him, he probably knows who ’ s doing it. ”

“ Except I don ’ t think talking to Harry is an option right now. ”  Louis sighs again, pushing back from the table. The chair makes an ugly scraping noise on the floor, but Louis doesn ’ t even care. It ’ s 1:49, and any other day that would mean Louis has a full 11 minutes (13-15 if he ’ s feeling especially lazy and careless) until his break is over. But not today. Today, Louis wants to put his head down and work. Preferably in a way that doesn ’ t involve him talking to anyone, but that ’ s not really an option, given the nature of his work. 

When he gets back to his desk, Louis hesitates, hand resting on the mouse before he opens up his emails. 

To: zamalik@huxley.com  
From: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
Thanks for the lunch-time quickie. Your hands do some marvellous things ;) xx

If he doesn ’ t get written up soon, he ’ s going to rip his computer from the wall and throw it at someone until he gets some answers. 

 

~~

 

“ Lou! ”  Zayn calls from the other end of the bar, one arm around Liam ’ s waist and the other resting next to his drink.  “ Another beer? ”

Louis shakes his head and points to his admittedly near-empty Corona. Zayn groans loudly, causing Liam to giggle and curl into his side like a kitten. It ’ s so sickening, Louis can ’ t even remember why he wanted them to get together.

“ That ’ s not the Tommo way! ”  Niall calls, appearing from the other side of Liam.  “ More beer! ” 

Louis shakes his head, more aggressively this time.

“ If you buy me another beer, I ’ ll pour it over your head and then glass you with the bottle. ”  Louis calls back, earning a concerned and exasperated look from the bartender. Louis raises his hands defensively.  “ Totally kidding mate. ”

It ’ s not that Louis doesn ’ t want to drink, or that he doesn ’ t enjoy drinking with his best friends  —  but it ’ s end of month drinks for Huxley (a newly instated tradition), and well, Louis Tomlinson being drunk around Harry Styles has never worked out before. With the way things have been going for Louis lately, if he was to be proper drunk he ’ d probably end the night trying to force Harry to let him give him a lap dance or something. 

Sober Louis is much more in control of his inhabitations and desires. He is not ( _absolutely not_ ) going to embarrass himself with Harry tonight.

Harry, however, clearly doesn ’ t share Louis ’  concerns.

The light grey sweater Harry is wearing is hanging off him, one sleeve rolled up above his elbow and the other rolled down. The black and white scarf that had previously been artfully draped around Harry ’ s neck is now tied up amongst his hair, knotted with dark brown curls. His brown pointed boots are —  well, they ’ re still spotless, Louis notices with a small smile. The whole outfit looks far too expensive to be getting trashed like this, but Harry doesn ’ t seem to mind. He ’ s all red-cheeks and dimples and giggles and he ’ s talking to Alexa from IT like she ’ s his best friend in the world. 

She very well could be, if Louis thinks about it. He really doesn ’ t know much about the enigma that is Harry Styles. He ’ s starting to seem more and more like the kind of person who only lets people know about him what he chooses to share. And, well, he hasn ’ t shared much with Louis.

Louis is still fixing to change that though.

“ Stop staring, you ’ re being so obvious. ”

Louis jumps and yelps, what ’ s left of his beer sloshing around in the bottle as his head whips around to face Niall, who is now standing behind him.

“ Why the _fuck_ do people keep doing that?! ”  Louis braces himself, clutching a hand to his heavy-beating heart.  “ Seriously, _announce yourselves_. ”

Niall giggles for a moment before composing himself.

“ Mister Niall James Horan. ”  He announces in a deep, put-on voice. He does a little bow in Louis ’  direction. Louis slaps him in the balls. He deserves it, to be fair.

“ What do you want, twat? ”  He snaps.

Niall shrugs, innocently and simply.

“ Just to talk. ” 

Louis softens instantly, wrapping his free arm around Niall ’ s shoulders. He could never actually stay mad at Niall. He ’ s too precious, and he laughs at all Louis ’  jokes, even (and especially) the bad ones. He ’ s a keeper.

“ So, speaking as a straight man who ’ s type is more red-heads and blondes with big boobs, ”  Niall starts, noting the shift in Louis ’  mood.  “ What exactly is the Harry Styles appeal? I mean, he ’ s hot. Definitely. But why is he worth all the trouble? ”

Louis contemplates Niall ’ s words, staring at Harry as he does, watching as long limbs fall over Alexa ’ s shoulders and brown curls cover the sweetest face Louis has ever seen.  
  
“He ’ s …”  Louis starts, voice shaky. He clears his throat, straightening his spine and steeling his gaze, not one to be embarrassed by the depths of his crush on a co-worker.  “ He ’ s not like anyone I ’ ve ever met. ”

Niall waves a hand, beckoning Louis to continue.

“ He ’ s, I dunno, he ’ s funny. He ’ s sweet in a totally harmless way but he ’ s still got that look about him, like handling him is no easy feat. He ’ s just the right amount of trouble. He ’ s …”  Louis sighs, frustrated, and whacks Niall on the arm.  “ I don ’ t know, Niall, please don ’ t make me try and express _feelings_. ”

Niall cackles, loudly and jovially. Louis honestly can ’ t tell if he ’ s laughing with him or at him. Fucking Niall. 

“ It ’ s not your biggest strength, is it? ” 

“ No, Niall, it isn ’ t. ”  Louis grumbles, finishing off what ’ s left of his beer. It ’ s only his third, from what he can remember, meaning he ’ s just the right amount of buzzed - enough to be having fun at what could best be described as a mediocre gathering, but not enough to let himself go completely. He has to keep a reign on things around Harry, has to keep himself from making the situation worse than it already is. 

“ So you really like him, huh? ”  Niall asks quietly, nudging Louis with his elbow. Louis swallows hard, still watching Harry.

“ Yeah. ”  He breathes, fucking _breathes_ , and god is this getting pathetic. He ’ s barely even spoken to the guy.

“ Well, you better make your move fast. ”

“ Why? ”

“ Because I think that guy really likes him too. ”  Niall points at a taller, admittedly attractive guy, who is now striding towards Harry with a smarmy grin and two cocktails in his hand. Fuck. Louis had been so caught up in staring at Harry that he ’ d completely missed the hot stranger making eyes at _his_ Harry.

(Louis is well aware that he has absolutely no right to call Harry his, but it feels right and when he sees him glassy-eyed and beaming like he is, he can ’ t help himself.)

Louis watches the scene unfold, frozen to his seat and almost scared to move, until someone bumps into Hot Stranger, spilling half of one of the drinks he ’ s holding all over the floor, and all over Harry ’ s shoes.

Fuck this.

Louis isn ’ t close enough to do anything from here, is far enough away that by the time he gets up and walks over to where Harry and Hot Stranger are, the damage may be done. But he gets up anyway, taking his empty beer bottle with him just for the purpose of being able to slam it down for added drama. Louis has always loved being dramatic.

He strides over to Harry with purpose, getting to his side just in time to witness Hot Stranger giving Harry the drink and tucking a strand of Harry ’ s hair behind his ear. Louis has half a mind to slap his hand away, but he doesn ’ t. Instead, he does exactly what he intended to, and slams his bottle down on the ledge next to Harry. 

Harry and Hot Stranger both jump, heads swivelling to stare at Louis. Harry looks shocked, as he usually does whenever Louis interacts with him, and Hot Stranger looks so peeved you ’ d think Louis just pissed on him. The best part is, Louis literally does not care, not even a single bit, what this guy thinks.

“ Hi, I ’ m Louis. ”  Louis deliberately doesn ’ t extend his hand, instead wrapping it around Harry ’ s waist.  “ I see you ’ ve met Harry. ”

Hot Stranger looks at Harry, then Louis, then Harry again, then Louis ’  arm around Harry, then back to Louis, then back to Harry. In any another situation, Louis would be laughing right now. But he isn ’ t, and neither is Harry, and neither is Hot Stranger.

“ Dan. And yes, Harry and I were having a lovely conversation. ”  Hot Stranger  —  Dan, replies, glaring at Louis in a way that can ’ t be considered anything other than deliberate.

“ Well then, let me save you some time. ”  Louis snaps, retracting his arm from around Harry ’ s waist.  “ You ’ re going to ask if Harry is single. Harry ’ s going to say no, he ’ s not, and his boyfriend is actually here tonight. ”  Louis takes the fruity cocktail from Harry ’ s hand - gently, as one should treat Harry, of course.  “ He will go on to say that his boyfriend can buy him any drinks he may need, ”  Louis pushes the cocktail back into Dan ’ s hands, relishing the way it spills on his white t-shirt.  “ You are going to be very embarrassed, and also slightly mortified when you realise his boyfriend is, yes, significantly shorter and skinnier than you, but also significantly more attractive and knows enough guys in this bar that we can make this very, very difficult for you, if you don ’ t back away from Harry right now. ”

Louis ’  fists clench at his sides as he glares back at Dan, not daring to break eye contact. They stay like that for a while, Dan burning holes into Louis, Louis returning it with even more ferocity, and Harry waiting for either of them to relent. 

Eventually, Dan slinks away without another word, taking his stupid brightly coloured cocktails with him. Good fucking riddance.

As soon as he ’ s out of earshot, Harry grabs Louis by the sleeve of his sweater and pulls him to the far corner of the bar, dark and out of the way of everyone else. 

“ What the fuck was that? ”  Harry slurs once they ’ re tucked in the corner and out of sight of the rest of their colleagues.

Louis feels a lump forming in his throat already, tries to swallow past it.

“ I ’ m sorry, okay, I didn ’ t like the way he was looking at you. He was creepy. ” 

“ Yes, Louis, he was creepy, but that ’ s my decision to make! ”  Harry ’ s eyes are wide, not looking anywhere but at Louis. Louis feels himself getting smaller and smaller by the second.  “ You don ’ t get to do that. You don ’ t get to protect me, or save me. You have Zayn and Niall for that already. ”

Every word hits Louis like a brick being dropped on his chest and making it harder and harder for him to breathe. He has pined over Harry for weeks now, and while he knew Harry doesn ’ t feel the same, he ’ d always thought of it as more of a negative idea caused by insecurity than an actual fact that is unable to be denied. 

“ You don ’ t owe me anything, Louis. ”  Harry says firmly, though it ’ s still apparent that he ’ s quite intoxicated. He smells like rum and some sort of female branded perfume.  “ Please, don ’ t act like you do. ”

And with that, he pushes past Louis, heading back over to where he ’ d just been. Louis watches without moving as he picks up his black coat, says something to Alexa and Ed before hugging them both and leaving without another word.

Louis feels like a fucking idiot.

Harry doesn ’ t want him. Harry doesn ’ t want Louis to want him, and he sure as hell doesn ’ t want Louis acting like his boyfriend. Louis should have known, to be honest. Harry has been acting distant for a while now, long enough that Louis should have got the fucking message by now. Harry doesn ’ t want him. Louis wants Harry, but that doesn ’ t mean shit. Who is he to want the boy that everyone adores?

Louis sees Zayn approaching, sans-Liam (for once), concern written all over his face.

“ Hey, what the fuck just happened? ”  Zayn asks gently.

“ Nothing. ”  Louis responds. His tone is blunt, and Zayn deserves better, but Louis doesn ’ t care.  “ Nothing ’ s been happening this whole time. I just realised it too late. ”

Louis leaves the bar not long after, vowing to himself that first thing Monday morning, he ’ s looking for a new job.

 

~~

 

Louis learns very fast and very painfully that deciding you want a new job and actually finding something worth applying for are two very different things.

After two hours of looking through various websites that advertise jobs, Louis accepts the fact that maybe he ’ ll just have to stay here. Maybe he ’ ll have to sit at a desk that ’ s too cluttered for his liking and work on a computer that ’ s far too slow and stare through walls that shouldn ’ t for the sake of his sanity be made of glass, every god damn day for the rest of his life. Maybe he ’ ll always want Harry. Maybe Harry will never want him. Maybe that ’ s okay. 

Louis lets out a deep breath; quietly, so Niall won ’ t ask him what ’ s wrong, and fixes his gaze on his computer screen. It goes in and out of focus, and just as he ’ s about to open his internet browser, an email alert goes off. Louis sighs. He knows its form Zayn, but honestly, he can ’ t bring himself to reply right now. Even reading it is beyond Louis ’  level of caring right now. 

To: lotomlinson@huxley.com  
From: zamalik@huxley.com  
Your thighs + those pants …  I can barely contain myself. 

Louis closes the email window with a huff. He doesn ’ t have time for this today. Finding out what ’ s going on with their emails is literally the least important thing in Louis ’  world right now. He doesn ’ t fucking care anymore. Whether it ’ s Ed that ’ s doing it, or Alexa, or Nick or fucking Niall, Louis doesn ’ t give two shits. It ’ s not like it changes anything anyway.

There ’ s a meeting at 3:15. Louis goes on a sales call at 3:45. Zayn emails him again at 4:20 (it just says  “ blaze it ” ). Louis fills out an expense report at 4:23. And at 5:00 on the dot, Louis leaves. He doesn ’ t say good bye to Zayn or Niall or Liam, doesn ’ t so much as wave - just leaves, quietly and unannounced in a way that is entirely _not_ Louis. 

This job is draining him. Being around Harry and not being able to have him is even worse. Louis wants to escape. 

Appropriately timed, like a bat-signal has gone off, Louis ’  mum rings him just as he ’ s getting home from work. 

“ How is it that mums just know? ”  Louis mumbles to himself, answering the call before he second guesses himself.

“ Hello, mother." Louis says in a tired voice. He immediately reprimands himself for it, though. It ’ s not his mum ’ s fault that his life is mundane and horrible.

“ Louis, babe, how are you? ”  Her voice is warm, full of love, and the sound of it makes Louis lets out a deep breath he didn ’ t even know he was holding. 

“‘ M alright. ”  Louis replies in his most convincing tone of voice.  “ How are you, how are the girls? ”

“ They ’ re good, but we miss you, love! ”  Louis smiles fondly, unable to stop himself. Damn his mother and her stupid unconditional love.  “ Will you be coming down to see us this weekend? ”

Louis manages a small, relieved laugh. He had completely forgot about his plan to go to Doncaster on the weekend. Living in London means he doesn ’ t get to make the trip very often, but when he does it ’ s the most special feeling in the world. Louis needs this. He needs the escape. 

“ Definitely. ”  Louis flops down into the cosy arm chair in the corner of his living room, letting himself be immersed in the softness and warmth. Home feels so damn good after the day he ’ s had.  “ I ’ ll have to work late on Friday so I can have all of Monday off, but I ’ ll be at your front door first thing Saturday morning ready for three full days of food and board games. ”

Louis can practically hear his mum ’ s excitement through the phone.

“ Excellent. The girls miss their big brother, you know. ”  Jay replies, that motherly tone in her voice.

“ And I miss them. ”  Louis sighs, ignoring the pang in his chest. 

“ How ’ s work going? ”  Jay asks, because she ’ s a mother and that means she has a sixth sense.

“ It ’ s …  going. ”  Louis squeezes his eyes shut, desperate to keep his mind from going to the Harry place.  “ I mean, it ’ s software sales, mum. Nothing too exciting. ”

“ Alright, if you say so. ”  Jay sighs. She sounds exactly like Louis when she does that.  “ Well, I ’ d love to stay and chat babe, but the twins are running rampant and need to be fed. ”

Louis nods, even though his mum can ’ t see him. He understands better than anyone how the twins are - he ’ d practically raised them with his mum until he left for London a few years ago. 

“ I ’ ll see you Saturday. Love you. ”  Jay says warmly. Louis smiles again, because his mum is a beautiful fucking soul.

“ Love you. ”  Louis echoes before reluctantly hanging up.

Even though their conversation was brief, Louis feels reenergised. His mum has always had that effect on him. And if the rest of the week drags on as much as today did, so be it, because he only has to get through four more days until the weekend.

And really, at this point, how much worse can it get?

 

~~

 

Whatever that expression is about counting your eggs before they hatch or whatever, Louis is feeling it right now.

He honestly thought it couldn ’ t get much worse after Monday. But now it ’ s 6:12pm on Friday, and though Louis had been quite thrilled with the prospect of not having anyone else in the office to annoy him, that ’ s just not how the world works, apparently. 

So here he is, typing away aggressively on his computer, and feeling himself being watched by none other than Harry fucking Styles. Harry apparently has some paper work to catch up on, because this just fucking isn ’ t Louis ’  week. 

“ At least he ’ s got his own office. ”  Louis mumbles to himself.  “ With a door. That he blatantly refuses to shut. Because he ’ s an asshole. ” 

Louis dares to glance up, relieved to find Harry is actually looking at his work for once. The last two times he ’ s done that, Harry has been just staring back at him, expression completely unreadable and tearing Louis to shreds inside. 

He just wishes he knew what was going on in Harry ’ s head. He ’ d settle for just a little bit, just the tiniest amount of knowledge, something that ’ s going to help explain the mysterious Harry Styles. Maybe then he wouldn ’ t spend so much time thinking about him. 

Louis stares at the open sales report on his computer screen, which is currently completely blank. He can ’ t remember what he was going to write, can ’ t remember a single damn thing and it ’ s all thanks to Harry and his stupid curly hair and his stupid anchor tattoo.

“ Fuck this. ”  Louis announces, deciding that it is now most definitely time for a wee break. 

Louis pushes his way through the door of the toilets, positioning himself in front of the urinals. He doesn ’ t get his dick out, doesn't even get to the stage of undoing his zipper. He just stares at the space next to him at the urinal, the worn tiles on the floor, and remembers. 

“ Fucking Harry Styles. ”  Louis mumbles, the fondest of smiles forcing its way onto his face as he shakes his head.

One last shot. And if he goes down, at least he can say he went down swinging. 

Louis marches back out to the office with a purpose, stopping short somewhere near Liam ’ s desk when he sees Harry. He ’ s left his office, and is now walking past the photocopier, definitely en route to the toilets. To Louis.

“ Looking to recreate the first time we spoke? ”  Louis smirks, as he resumes walking, this time much slower. 

“ Well, it was quite romantic. ”  Harry smiles back. It ’ s a fucking breath of fresh air.  “ But I was hoping for less pee to be involved this time. ”

Louis meets him in the middle of the office, right between the copier and Leslie ’ s desk. Harry ’ s breathing is steady under his black sweater, far steadier than Louis ’  by the looks of things. 

_One last shot_ , Louis repeats to himself.

“ Romantic? ”  Louis smiles playfully.  “ I thought we weren ’ t in romantic territory. ”

Harry ’ s smile falters, and Louis suddenly regrets every decision he ’ s ever made. 

“ That ’ s not quite what I said, or what I meant. ”  Harry manages to get out. 

“ Then what did you mean? ”

“ I meant …”  Harry stumbles on his words, cheeks flushing as he bites his lip and looks at the floor. He ’ s bashful. It ’ s the most adorable fucking thing Louis has ever seen in his life, and he feels privileged to have elicited such a reaction from him.  “ This is sort of embarrassing. ”

“ As embarrassing as baring my soul to you in the car park and being rejected? ”  Louis quirks an eyebrow at Harry, and Harry laughs. 

“ Maybe not that bad. ”  He lets out a deep breath.  “ I mean, I ’ ve always had a crush on you. ”

Louis can feel fireworks going off inside him. His breath is caught in his throat, his palms are sweating, and he can’t stop smiling, because fuck, Harry has always had a crush on him. _Always._  

And now Harry ’ s biting his lip again, his full, red lips, and Louis has never wanted to kiss another human this much before, maybe ever. Surely it ’ s not healthy, or sane. 

“ I want to kiss you. ”  Louis says out loud, shocking himself completely. 

“ Then kiss me. ”  Harry whispers back, taking a step closer to Louis. 

So he does. His lips are on Harry ’ s, one hand on Harry ’ s waist and the other tangled in the mess of curls he ’ s grown so fond of. It ’ s electric, and it ’ s magnetic, and it ’ s every kind of synonym for the word beautiful Louis can think of. And then it becomes more than that.

Harry ’ s hand squeezes on Louis ’  waist, and Louis can feel the hesitance in the way he moves it lower, ever so slowly. Louis licks into Harry ’ s mouth carefully, playfully, and can ’ t help but smile when Harry ’ s tongue flicks back against his. 

Harry retreats suddenly, though his hands are still planted firmly on either side of Louis ’  waist. 

“ Are you sure about this? ”  He asks, staring at Louis with wide-eyed concern as if he ’ s looking for some sort of clue.

“ Sure? ”  Louis repeats, incredibly bemused by the whole situation.  “ Why wouldn ’ t I be? We ’ re both single, I like you, you like me. ”

Harry seems assured by this, nodding eagerly and letting his eyes wander Louis ’  body. Louis feels himself burn under the scrutiny, but then Harry licks his lips and Louis is dying to kiss him again.

But Harry still looks unsure, clearly in need of further reassurance. Louis is happy to oblige, wants to make sure that this whole experience is exactly what Harry wants. He wants to please Harry. 

“ Are _you_ sure? ”  Louis asks, rubbing his hands softy on Harry ’ s arms.

“ Yeah, it ’ s just …”  Harry swallows hard.  “ You seem to be like this with everyone. It ’ s like sex doesn ’ t seem to matter all that much to you, and it …  it does for me, I guess. ”

“ Harry, ”  Louis replies, softer than he ’ s ever spoken to another person.  “ I only have eyes for you. I ’ m not sleeping with anyone else, I promise. ”

Harry locks eyes with Louis again; wordlessly searching for the honesty Louis knows is there. He eventually nods again, and before Louis can say anything else to convince him, Harry ’ s lips are on his again. 

Harry pushes Louis backwards, and he feels the small of his back hit the copy machine. Harry ’ s hands push their way up from the bottom of Louis ’  sweater, gripping tight on Louis ’  sides. 

Harry is a really fucking good kisser. He kisses Louis like he knows exactly what he ’ s doing, like he ’ s planned it down to the last detail but at the same time it feels spontaneous and exciting. His hips are pressing flush against Louis ’  now, and Louis is trying futilely to do anything other than just keep up.  

Louis reaches out blindly for Harry ’ s zipper, but before he can even begin to work on it, Harry ’ s pulling himself away just enough to practically rip off his sweater, shirt and jeans. Louis would applaud his speed if he wasn ’ t so fucking turned on. 

He helps Louis out of his own clothes next, until they ’ re just a mess of fabric at their feet and they ’ re both in nothing more than their underwear.

Harry ’ s body is even more impressive that Louis had anticipated. His tattoos span all across his chest, stomach and one of his arms. Louis wants to take the time to memorise each one of them, to learn their meaning and hear the stories behind them. But they ’ ve got plenty of time for that. 

Harry ’ s large hands palm at Louis ’  growing erection, making him jolt at the long-awaited touch. His mouth falls open in a silent moan, and Harry takes the opportunity to get his tongue back inside, kissing Louis fervently and passionately, like he ’ s waited his whole life to do it. Louis sure feels like that ’ s the case for him.  

He ’ s not sure at what point they decided that doing this at work would be a good idea, but he can ’ t say he ’ s opposed to it. Louis ’  motto through this whole Harry situation has been  “ go hard or go home ” , after all. And in this case, Louis plans on doing both in succession. 

Suddenly Harry is guiding Louis ’  body, forcing him to turn around so his front is pressed against the copier. It ’ s hard and has many pointy corners, but Louis ’  so far from caring at this point that it ’ s actually laughable. 

He doesn ’ t actually take a minute to register what Harry ’ s doing, until all of a sudden his pants are being pulled down, and Harry ’ s warm breath is on his cheeks. 

Louis almost wants to protest, but he doesn ’ t. He doesn ’ t, because he fucking wants this, wants Harry to have him any way he wants, even if they are in the middle of their terribly lit workplace pressed against an old-school photocopier that ’ s two seconds away from breaking.

“ Is this okay? ”  Harry asks, peppering kisses along the back of Louis ’  thighs, and Louis hates him because his legs are definitely about to give way underneath him. 

“ Yes. ”  Louis manages, gripping hard onto the copier for support. He holds back on the  ‘ _just fucking do it already_ ’  for the sake of playing it cool.

And then something warm and wet is pressing on Louis ’  exposed hole, and fuck, he liked the way Harry ’ s tongue felt in his mouth but he loves the way it feels there even more. It moves, swiping over the sensitive flesh in long strokes. Louis ’  so shocked at how fucking good it feels that he can ’ t even move for a moment, can only stand their with his eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open, cock getting harder and harder by the second. Louis could die. He feels like this would be a good way to go. 

Harry ’ s tongue laps enthusiastically over Louis ’  hole, his skin, stroking and circling and pressing against the tight pucker of his hole. Harry takes a moment to move down, kissing and nibbling at the skin all around Louis ass and his thighs and his balls before coming back up again. 

Louis doesn ’ t let people do this to him often (see: ever), but right now he can ’ t remember why. The sensation is new, nerves and excitement mingling with arousal and preventing Louis ’  ability to do anything but try not to let his legs give way. 

After more persistent licking, Louis finally manages to move, using his right hand to reach down and touch his own cock. It ’ s so hard, filling out even more with every swipe of Harry ’ s tongue to the point where it ’ s achingly erect. Louis wants to make himself come, but even more than that, he wants Harry to make him come. He lets his hand slide slowly down his own shaft, then back up to the head, before returning his grip to the copier. It ’ s far too soon to be letting himself come. 

Harry, having apparently noticed Louis ’  eagerness, suddenly forgoes the slow, teasing pace he used to begin, his tongue now pressing into Louis. If Louis ’  eyes were open, they ’ d be rolled into the back of his head for sure, because this feels so crazy good he never wants it to end. Harry is a fucking master of rimming. He should get some kind of medal or at least a certificate.

His tongue presses deeper inside Louis, thrusting wickedly and retreating, and Louis is doing all he can to keep himself from thrusting back into it. Louis moans, loudly and uninhibited, and Harry almost hesitates. His tongue goes deeper now, flicking gently against Louis ’  rim and making Louis moan again, this time even louder. He really fucking hopes this place doesn ’ t have security cameras. 

He needs to come, needs Harry to stop so he _doesn_ _’_ _t_ come. Almost like he ’ s reading Louis ’  mind, Harry retreats, pecking one last kiss on Louis ’  hole before Louis hears the sound of Harry standing up behind him. 

“ Want me to fuck you? ”  Harry whispers in Louis ’  ear, voice even deeper and huskier than usual, sending shivers down Louis ’  spine and reaching all the way down to his painfully hard cock. He wants it, wants it more than anything.

“ Yeah. ”  Louis whispers back, scared it will turn into a whine if he speaks any louder. 

Harry turns Louis around again, sucking on his neck gently before lifting him up and sitting him on top of the copier. It creaks under Louis ’  weight, but Louis doubts it will actually collapse. That would be awkward to explain to Simon. 

Harry reaches down, pulling Louis ’  underwear off completely and discarding them onto the floor with the rest of his clothes, before doing the same thing with his own. Harry ’ s erection slaps up against his stomach, and Louis has never thought dicks were especially attractive overall, but Harry ’ s is definitely an exception. It ’ s big, so big Louis is fucking scared for a minute because _that_ _’_ _s about to be inside him_ , but it ’ s also leaking precome and is about as hard as Louis ’  is. 

“ Wait, wait, we need lube. ”  Harry realises, eyes widening with panic. Louis points weakly to his own desk, sitting a few feet away from where they are. 

“ Top drawer of my desk. ”  He instructs, steadying his breath. Harry doesn ’ t move for a moment, instead giving Louis an understandably suspicious look.  “ Me and Niall pulled a prank on Zayn one time, don ’ t ask. ”

He doesn ’ t, just walks over to Louis ’  desk completely naked and completely fucking gorgeous before returning in record time, small bottle of lube in his hand. 

“ You have no idea how long I ’ ve wanted this. ”  Louis mumbles, surprised at how sexy his voice sounds. 

Harry stops in the middle of uncapping the lube, looking up at Louis with an almost surprised expression. He stares at him for a moment, and the guy just had his face in Louis ’  ass, yet this is the most exposed Louis has felt this whole time. 

Harry leans forward, resting his hands on Louis ’  thighs as he leans in and gently, tenderly kisses Louis. He rests his forehead on Louis ’  once they ’ ve separated, their noses brushing on each other gently.

“ Me too. ”  Harry says quietly, and Louis believes him. 

They stay like that for a while, foreheads pressed together and breathing matching, until Louis remembers with a painful twitch of his cock what exactly it is they ’ re supposed to be doing right now.

“ Right, so, let’s get back to you fucking me on a copier, shall we? ”  Louis says brightly, and Harry giggles, but he ’ s quickly silenced by Louis ’  mouth on his. Louis kisses him urgently, tongue flicking against Harry ’ s as Harry tries to focus on both kissing Louis and slicking himself up with lube. 

Louis doesn ’ t need much in the way of prep (he totally fucked himself on his favourite dildo last night), so Harry barely gets two fingers inside Louis before pulling them out and replacing them with his cock in one hard thrust.

Louis lets out a sharp, breathless grunt, causing Harry to stop, almost all the way inside Louis, hands resting against the copier on either side of him. 

“ Is that okay? ”

“ Fuck yeah. ”  Louis replies breathlessly, wrapping his legs around Harry ’ s waist to pull him in all the way. 

After nearly falling apart earlier thanks to Harry ’ s tongue, Louis knows he won’t be able to last long like this. His thoughts are confirmed when he reaches down, stroking his cock lazily, letting his thumb sweep over the head as Harry pulls out and thrusts back into him, faster and shallower this time, beginning to work himself into a rhythm. He can ’ t imagine ever wanting this to end, but he needs to make quick work of Harry to avoid making himself look like he has no stamina. 

They ’ re still kissing, but it ’ s all teeth and tongues, no delicateness or finesse about it. Harry ’ s thrusting into Louis with more pace now, and with one particular thrust, Louis ’  mouth falls open, the most high-pitched moan escaping him.

“ Fuck, you ’ re so beautiful. ”  Harry mutters, pressing kisses into Louis ’  shoulder now. Louis opens his eyes for a moment, taking in the sight of Harry with his hair sticking to his neck with sweat, face twisted into a look of concentration as he watches himself fucking in and out of Louis. 

The copier is rattling and shaking underneath them, creaking with every thrust of Harry ’ s hips, and Louis is sure it ’ s never going to work the same again after this. It ’ s not the most comfortable place Louis ’  ever had sex, but with Harry fucking him like this, it’s so hard to care.

Louis digs his fingers into his back as Harry picks up the pace, trying desperately to swallow the wanton noises that are escaping him. His fringe is sticking to his forehead, a sheen of sweat coating his face and chest and surely other places too. His whole body is quivering, desperate to come as he pumps harder and faster on his own cock. 

The slide of Harry ’ s cock in and out of him feels incredible. It ’ s stretching him, burning just a touch but it ’ s amazing and it ’ s making Louis feel so full, and oh god he needs to come like, right now. 

Louis ’  pace quickens on his cock, jerking it faster and harder as he feels himself nearing the edge.

“ How you doing? ”  Harry grunts, his thrusts continuing to get faster and harder into Louis, shaking the smaller man ’ s body. 

“ M ’  good. ”  Louis responds, leaning forward to press a kiss to Harry ’ s lips.  “ Close. ”

“ Me too. ”  Harry breathes.  “ I ’ m gonna come soon, Louis. ”

Louis moans at this, his head dropping down as he temporarily forgets how to hold himself up. Harry leans in closer to Louis, gripping Louis ’  spread thighs as his thrusts become more determined. Louis matches his pace with his hand, and within a few moments, he ’ s spilling all over himself, come landing on his stomach and dripping down to the tops of his thighs. 

Harry moans at the sight of Louis ’  come, his fingers digging harder into Louis ’  thighs. He ’ s pushing in to Louis so hard Louis feels like he might split in two, until suddenly, Harry ’ s coming as well. He thrusts twice more, each one slow and deliberate, pressing tired kisses onto the tattoos on Louis ’  arms. 

They stay like that for a while, Harry inside of Louis, head pressed against Louis ’  sweaty arm, and Louis trying to keep himself from falling off the copier. Their breathing is ragged, Harry ’ s at a faster pace than Louis ’ , and it takes a minute or two for it to start to return to normal.

Eventually, Harry pulls out of Louis, the feeling making Louis wince a little as Harry ’ s cock drags over his raw opening. 

Harry smiles at Louis, lazily and beautifully, offering him a hand as Louis slides off the copier. They both check quickly if there ’ s any come on the copier (there isn ’ t, thank god), and then Harry ’ s arms are around Louis, pulling him in close, their sweaty bodies sticking together as Harry ’ s chest presses against Louis ’  back. 

It ’ s nice. It ’ s sticky and it ’ s at work and he feels so exposed, but mostly it ’ s just really nice. And even Louis isn ’ t stupid enough to know that it ’ s because it ’ s Harry, and he ’ s waited for this moment for far too long.

It makes Louis shine from the inside out when he reminds himself that _Harry has been waiting for it too_.

How and when did Louis ’  life get so incredible?

“ That was …”  Louis whispers, afraid to talk to loud and potentially ruining the mood.  “ Just, wow. ”

“ I know. ”  Harry agrees. His breath is hot on Louis ’  ear, and his cock twitches against Louis ’  bum at the memory of it all. Louis smirks at that, because honestly, he ’ s always prided himself on being a good fuck. 

“ I ’ m so glad you and Zayn aren ’ t actually hooking up. ”  Harry mumbles, pressing soft kisses into Louis ’  neck. It tickles, feels so nice and —  oh, _fuck_.

“ It ’ s you. ”  Louis ’  voice cracks because Jesus fucking Christ, he was right all along.  “ Oh my god, Harry, it ’ s been you the whole time. You ’ ve been doing email surveillance. ” 

Harry ’ s hand stops from where it was stroking Louis ’  arm, fingertips gently brushing on his bicep. He ’ s so obvious; Louis cannot believe he actually questioned himself. Fucking Harry, man.

“ I ’ m sorry. ”  Harry chokes out, his voice strained, clearly unsure and nervous. There ’ s a long silence, tension palpable before Louis can ’ t help but giggle. He fucking giggles, like an absolute tit, but honestly he just can ’ t help it. 

“ I can ’ t believe I was right the whole fucking time! ”  Louis laughs, disbelieving. Harry giggles along with him, brushing his nose on Louis ’  neck.

“ You ’ re lucky all you got from us was sexual innuendos and blow job offers. ”  Louis says once he finally catches his breath. This whole situation is fucked. He ’ s naked and leaning against the copier with Harry from HR, who he just found out has been monitoring the sexually explicit emails he ’ s been sending to Zayn for a few weeks. After all the build up, it just seems …  irrelevant.

“ Yeah, lucky. ”  Harry breathes. Louis can tell just from those two words that he ’ s relieved more than anything that Louis is reacting so calmly.  “ It wasn ’ t so much fun thinking you were fucking the entire office. And I could ’ ve gone my whole life without knowing about Zayn and Niall ’ s rimming adventure. Or your apparent love for fisting. ”

“ Okay, that one was a joke. ”  Louis laughs, but he stops himself short when Harry ’ s words sink in. Something isn ’ t right.  “ Wait …  Harry, that thing about Niall and Zayn. That was months ago. And Zayn put an indefinite ban on talking about it after a week. ”

Harry doesn ’ t respond, and after a few moments, it becomes clear that he ’ s not going to.

“ How long have you been doing this? ”  Louis pushes. Harry says silent still.  “ Harry. How long? ”

“ Since about a month before the memo that tipped you off. ”

“ What. ”  Louis ’  voice is quiet yet blunt.  “ How? ”

“ That update in the company ’ s privacy policy? ”  Harry reminds Louis, voice quiet and squeaky.

Louis remembers that. Very, very vaguely. He ’ d thrown the memo in the trash almost instantly, not thinking it meant anything. 

“ Fuck me. ”  He mutters, pushing himself off Harry and reaching hastily for his pants. Fuck this, fuck all of it. He just fucked a stalker. 

“ Louis, I ’ m sorry. ”  Harry says, he too scrambling as he pushes himself off the copier. Though he seems significantly less interested in finding his pants. This guy is such a freak.

“ How much do you know about me? ”  Louis snaps, zipping the fly on his trousers.  “ How many personal things about me do you know? I mean, fuck, Harry, we both know I abuse the shit out of our email system. How many personal emails about Zayn from Liam did you read? Or shit about my parents? Oh my god, fuck, I can ’ t believe —“

“ Louis I ’ m so sorry. It was part of my job, I had to. ”  Harry pleads with him, taking a brave step forward, closer into Louis ’  orbit. 

“ Yeah but still? Is a career in HR really so important to you that you ’ d invade someone else privacy like that? I mean, fuck, you could ’ ve told me! You ’ ve been reading my emails for that long, you literally know more about me than almost all my friends do. ”

Louis likes Harry. A lot. He ’ d wanted to share these things with Harry, wanted Harry to know everything about him - but when Louis decided to share them. He hates that he feels like that has been ripped away from him.

“ I hate snow peas. ”  Harry blurts, eyes wide and honest, lips still red and puffy. Louis hates him. No, he hates that he still wants to kiss him. 

“ What the fuck does that —“

“ I sit sideways on the toilet when I shit and I have absolutely no idea why. ”  Harry continues, and Louis softens with the realisation of what he ’ s trying to do.  “ I came out to my parents when I was 16.

“ I have to drink things at room temperature. I ’ ve been known to leave drinks on the counter for half an hour before drinking them, even milk-based ones. If I get ice at a restaurant I wait until the other person isn ’ t looking and put my ice in their drink.

“ I have this one sweater that I sometimes wear inside out because the wool looks really cool that way.

“ I had my first kiss when I was thirteen. 

“ I once cried because my dad told me I couldn ’ t marry my mum. They used to tell me that people married the person they love most, so I didn ’ t understand why that was weird. 

“ My sister, Gemma wet her pants at Disneyland once. It was entirely my fault, and I still don ’ t feel bad about it. It was only two years ago. She ’ s 26.

“ I wanted to move to Manchester when my parents split up. I even tried to sell my Cabbage Patch doll to buy a bus ticket. His name was Barney. Except the only person willing to buy it was my grandpa and he paid me in lollies. 

“ One time, I was drunk and I sent a naked selfie to my entire snapchat contact list. I ’ d drawn a smiley face and made my dick the nose. My best friend posted it on Facebook and tagged me, and my grandparents brought it up at Christmas dinner. 

“ Speaking of drunk, one time I ate a live moth for $20. I ’ d only had four drinks. ”

“ Okay, go on a date with me! ”  Louis shouts, taking a step towards Harry, close enough that he can rest his hands on Harry ’ s forearms. He ’ s shaking. So is Louis.

“ Wait, what? ”  Harry ’ s mouth twitches, like he ’ s trying to stop a smile. 

“ If I let you take me on a date will you stop talking? ”  Louis smirks.  “ Please? ”

Harry ’ s face breaks out into full-on beaming, nodding so aggressively that Louis is worried about him injuring himself. That is neck-snapping enthusiasm if Louis has ever seen it, and fuck if it ’ s not the most beautiful thing he ’ s ever seen. 

“ You know, I probably didn ’ t need to know about the moth-eating thing. ”  Louis adds as an afterthought, rubbing circles on Harry ’ s arm with his thumb.

“ Yeah I sort of regret telling you that now. ”  Harry replies sheepishly, and Louis can ’ t quite figure out if his cheeks are flushed from the rigorous sex or the embarrassment of spilling a lifetime of secrets.

“ Only sort of? ”  Louis quirks an eyebrow.

“ Well I did once read in one of your emails that you once on a dare drank water from a fishbowl that hadn ’ t been cleaned in five weeks and almost swallowed the fish. ”

Louis pauses, pursing his lips. That is a thing that happened. It was Niall ’ s fish. He ’ d never been good at looking after them. 

“ Touche. ” 

And then, email stalking and shoe-peeing and moth eating and seems irrelevant, because the only thing that matters to Louis really wants to kiss Harry. So that ’ s exactly what he ’ s going to do.

It ’ s not sexual, it ’ s not forceful, it ’ s just —  a kiss. Louis kissing Harry, Harry kissing back, and everything falling into place all at once. 

“ We make quite the couple don ’ t we. ”  Harry remarks once they separate, rubbing his nose against Louis ’ . It ’ s totally cheesy and totally lame and totally freaking adorable. How did Louis become this person.

“ So what kind of first date is this going to be? ”  Louis asks.  “ Because with everything you just told me, and everything you already know about me, I think this is going to feel more like a fifteenth date. ”

“ Well, we ’ ve already fucked, so that ’ s the third date covered. ”

“ You ’ d wait until the third date? ”  Louis does not believe that for a second. He did just get fucked by the guy on a copier, after all.

“ No. ”  Harry says after a moment of contemplation.  “ Not with an ass like yours. ”

“ After what date am I supposed to assume we ’ re in a relationship? ”  Louis asks, knowing exactly what it means.

Harry hums thoughtfully.

“ The sixteenth. ”

“ So the sixteenth date has to be pretty impressive, huh? ”

Harry nods.

“ Well then. ”  Louis smirks.  “ Prepare to have your mind blown, Styles. This date is going to be the best you ’ ve ever seen. ”

 


End file.
